Paws for Poems 4

Dedicated to my brother, upon his coming birthday and his exquisite success in forgetting my last two.


Am I still dead


When I was fifteen you said I had no life,
Now we're all grown up, you've a son and a wife,
And you wear ties and jackets, and paint the world red,
Tell me brother, what about me, am I still dead?

We were raised as equals, but you were always worth more
You're the one that they worshipped, I was just a big bore
I was told you're the greatest, and believed what they said
What do you think now, brother, when did I become dead?

Every day of my childhood you'd bring me to tears,
Your scorn slew my confidence and nurtured my fears,
But my grief was transparent to all but my bed,
Could it be that's the reason that I became dead?

Nowadays we don't talk, and you don't seem to care
All I've won, all I've lost - you were just never there
And this curse of yours still circles over my head
Will I ever start living, or always be dead?