Burfing Rainbows

The above title is borrowed from the cuteoverload.com website: meaning, the reaction one might have upon seeing an extra cute or adorable scene or image. I did not barf rainbows this morning, but I did barf - twice - which sets a new personal record. I have never thrown up twice in one day, after two meals, but today simlpy began in such an unbearable way that I really wanted to.

Even with the burfing, it still was a day of overeating. Spending time with my family brings me to this condition quite easily, it seems. My mother and sister once again managed to ionize me and started talking to someone else about something else while they were in mid-conversation with me - I'm absolutely certain they did not even notice it. That's just how it is when you're not really paying attention to someone; I'm rather used to feeling like thin air or perfect nothingness in the company of my family, so this did not even cause me to get upset or annoyed. If anything, it made me laugh; especially since my father (of all people) noticed this happening, and laughed as well.

I think I noticed a slight change in my eating disorder though. It was a bit harder to throw up, my body seemed a bit reluctant. After all, it's been many days that I ate very little and didn't throw up, so it seems that my body is giving me the message of "If you don't want to swallow the bullshit, don't eat it in the first place". This is a good insight. All that is left now is to be strong and determined enough to be able to implement it.