Chainsaw Through The Brain

That's what a friend of mine once called Philip Glass' music. Needless to say I disagree. But I'm having a similar sensation now, result of Efexor withdrawal. OUCH!!

Also, I've been suffering from surges of sudden anger that did not make sense. Scary shit. I've been on SSRI/SNRI drugs for the past 7 years, and I wonder how well - if at all - my body will adjust to being without a serotonin regulator. I could fall apart for a while, I could blow up. No one knows, anything could happen. So exciting. Fun fun. And I could really use one - for the love of Gaia, just one - close person in my life right now who is NOT going through an emotional breakdown of their own, so they could support me through this rough time, but there is none. Everybody's wrapped up in their own shit, no one can put it aside for a couple of weeks for my sake. Oh, OK, there is one person, but she's leaving for Denmark for two weeks in a couple of days. Two critical weeks. More fun.

Maybe now is a good time to just lie there and stare at the ceiling for a while.

PS - Do what you have to, so that "me as a whole" won't bring you "nothing but pain". Me and my holes will be here when you're done ostracising me for the 100th time.

Right. Where was I? Ceiling. Staring.