Paws for Poems 2

Crisis

Everybody sees you're in a crisis
Everybody's offering a cure
Everybody says that their advice is
What will bring you happiness, for sure.

Everybody tells you that you're crazy
Everybody tells you that you're wrong,
Everybody says that you're amazing
So hang on, it won't be long,
It won't be long.

Forgive me Leonard Bernstein, Wherever You Are

I feel heavy
Oh so heavy
I feel heavy, and clumsy
And fat

And I worry
And feel sorry for myself
For that

La La La La La La La La La La

A night with a cat

Last night my semi-faithful street-house cat, Paprika, decided it was time to spend a night in my home. She cuddled up on the bed and purred us both to sleep, which was very sweet, although at first I was too afraid to move around - so I wouldn't crush her or something. At 4 A.M. in the morning she decided to try and massage my shoulder, with claws (ouch). The attempt failed. About an hour later, she meowed at the door and wanted to get out, so I let her out and went back to sleep.



All in all, I'm satisfied - this is progress. Perhaps I might learn a thing or two from her. Perhaps she even thinks that I'm a fun person to be with - more than just a food provider. I don't get the same vibes from some other people. It seems that when there's something dark and heavy to deal with, when there's trouble or ill tidings, I'm the first person to call, since I'm good at dealing with troubled people and/or troubled times. But when a party is being planned, or a fun trip, or just a playful tone is used... well, that doesn't come very naturally to me and usually isn't sent my way. Today I couldn't help but wonder if people would love me more if I were a more fun person. But what's the use worrying anyway? This is who I am. I can't be someone else.

Nor would I want to be.

Paws for Poems

Teddy Bear

And I see myself
Lifted, held, and carried through a green wood
And into a spacious hall
Delicately lit, carefully decorated, pleasantly scented,
And gently resonating with the sound of running water
From the fountain in the middle of the hall.

And I see myself within the flow of water from the fountain
In the middle of the pool
In the middle of the hall
In the middle of the wood
And it's all around me.
I can feel it, it's here.
I'm inside it all.

I open my eyes,
And I see the picture of a teddy bear
In the middle of the plastic curtain
In the middle of my bathroom
In the middle of the night.
I close my eyes,
And I see myself

About the Title...

It cannot go unexplained, can it? Or rather, it can, but that would be snobbish and idiosyncratic of me, and, well... perhaps I should wait a bit before my readers discover my true nature *evil laugh*

I had a hamster named Nikita, my first pet and an avatar, no doubt about it. Tiny creature who showed me nothing but kindness, tenderness, affection and an occasional woodchip being kicked out of the cage. She had strange habits, my Nikita. Unlike many hamsters, she never bit me, not even once. And the best of hamsters would give you a nibble every now and then. She was clam, adorable, always sat on the palm of my hand patienly, and strangest of all... my mother wakes up very early in the morning, and she used to find Nikita sitting on the 2nd floor of her double-decked cage, just watching me sleeping. No reason at all for her doing it... she simply sat there and watched. Mom was certain that she was watching over me.

So... I'd like to believe she's still watching me from somewhere. Even here, on the Web. Besides, it's about time I started putting in writing all those annoying and interesting thought I have...

So this is it.